演员表：
西门吹雪
叶孤城
花满楼
king
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .
Birdsaredancinginthecold .
Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .
Windiscominginsilence.
Another mysteriousmanapproaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou !
Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay.
X:Excuseme， whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname?
Y:ha ha ,Iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. I’mthemostfamous-------YeGucheng. Whoareyou?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?
X:Yes,whatiswrong?
Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts?
X:Great, youknowme !
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’tkillme! letmeyougo!
X:No, Imustkillyou !
Y:Idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!
X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don''''''''''''''''t forceme!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?
Y:pleasedrinkit!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha
Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?
X:Sure, must! milkismilk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?
X:I’msureIwon’t!
Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!
X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……
X可怜状: help! help! Whereisthewashroom?
Y:What ?
X:Toliet?
Y:What ?
X:The “WC”?
Y:Oh,I see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y掏出纸屑吹:Thisisgenuirnesnow!
H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!
Y:Whoareyou?
H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC” now,ha……
H惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!
Y:Youareright!
H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?
Y:Yes,It’sverygood.
H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking!
Y:Ok,Let’s go!
第二幕：无间道
H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! （指Y） thisisyegucheng.
K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?
Y: Yes,Ido.
K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音乐停）
X唱着上:Onlyyou……(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine!
K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?
Y急切: king! dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(维语再见)
K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isn’t it ?
Y:How clever……
X冷酷:yegucheng! comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething!
Y抱X的腿:oldbrother ! Forgiveme!
X:Forgiveme? Why?
Y: Oncetherewasachangebeforeme,Ilostit. Ifthegodgivemeantherchance, I’lltellyou“I love you”,Iftheremustbea limited period,Ihopeitisthousandyear!
X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s“WC”!
Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)
X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)
K: ayixidailu?What’sthemeaning? whyIalsocan’tunderstandyou?
X:Youarestupid! Itmeans“I love you”.
K:Don’t saythat“you love me”. I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!
X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You---kill----me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)
K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!
X:Howcanyoukillme? haha……
Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou
haveavacation.
Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.
K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha……小品剧本大全www.coffbar.com
Y:Hahaha-----
H:Where’ssomewhere?
K:What?
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Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s“WC”?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
H顶着摇头：X,no, no， youcan’tgotoLady’s “WC”. Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!
X: whatifI’mthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutI’mstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? !
K: youareright. onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie. Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLady’s WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead !
H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !
K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?
H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng------the wifeofX .I’maspy.
K惊讶: !you---you---YouareLuXiaofeng ? X’wife ?
Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说)Ｘwilldie ,goandseehim ,please .
H扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning !
K:what amoving story !I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn’t resume !
(H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状:don’tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you------help me . I’ll never dothat again !(Y死，音乐停)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
X:gohome ! ?
H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !
